FEATURED POST: MAKE AMERICA GREAT

Good God, Put The Beast To Sleep In The Minds Of Men Already

ICE CAVE MOUNTAIN BOUND

                        
Looking up
Looking across the road



INT. 2010 MERCEDES BENZ HYBRID SUV - DAY

MAIDEN AMERICA drives with passenger SAGE northwestward through the streets and avenues of Manhattan towards Ice Cave Mountains, Ellenville, New York.

SAGE
I don’t want to distract you 
and your attention towards
what’s outside the windshield. 

MAIDEN AMERICA 
I’m paying attention. Don’t fret. 
Just explain how you figure
you got to see it when it was
practically perfectly obvious
to those who should’ve seen it.

SAGE
Because … .

MAIDEN AMERICA '
‘Cause why?

SAGE
Because WE LIKE YOU!
M-O-U-S-E
Mickey’s mouse!

MAIDEN AMERICA 
Donald’s duck!

SAGE
Donald’s duck!

MAIDEN AMERICA 
Mickey’s mouse!

MAIDEN AMERICA and SAGE 
Forever we can walk 
and hold our heads up 
high! High! HIGH! 
Come on now and have some fun 
and join our company!
M-I-C-…K-E-Y, 
M…O…U…S…E… .

SAGE and MAIDEN AMERICA chuckle at their juvenile behavior. 

SAGE
We probably regressed back 
a full decade of time 
those last few moments there.

MAIDEN AMERICA drives off George Washington Bridge and travels north towards Palisades Interstate Parkway.

MAIDEN AMERICA 
Don’t turn around. 
I think someone is following us.
Get the whirlybirds to check ‘em out.

SAGE opens glove compartment. Flicks switches. Turns dials. Three video monitors portray different aerial views of MAIDEN AMERICAS’ Hybrid SUV traveling north.

SAGE
Drones Betsy, Betty …, have locked on infrared. 
(a beat)
Cupcake, listen.
If anything happens, and things…? 
you know, if either one of us 
doesn’t return to do the dishes tonight, 
I want you to know 
I really, really dug all those 
bowls of puddin’,
acts of pure love, … 
and them there heapin’ dollops 
of lumpy mashed potatoes —

MAIDEN AMERICA
I made sure there 
were always lumps 
in the mashed potatoes.
Never totally smooth …, 
the size you like, too …, 
every time. 
Remember all those 
pumpkin pie slices,
with the whipped cream, 
the chopped walnuts, … 
loved it!

SAGE
I do remember.
And Eternally grateful, I am.


Suburban highway scenes. SAGES’ demeanor brought to refocus on mission to bring Murgatroyd into existence. 

SAGE 
You know what the definition of the perfect crime is?

MAIDEN AMERICA turns her attention towards SAGE. Raises eyebrows.

SAGE 
The perfect crime is the type of crime 
where perpetrator plans his deeds towards the victim 
so that the victim doesn't realize an act of wrongdoing 
has been committed upon them. 
The longer the perp can keep the victim from realizing 
the wrongdoing has occurred, the more perfect the crime is. 

MAIDEN AMERICA 
We have to think like criminals?

SAGE 
Yeah, sort of. 
But not like some two-bit criminal …, 
not like the majority of those who have never learned 
to care about their actions towards others.

SAGE begins typing on iPhone.

MAIDEN AMERICA 
Who ‘ya callin’?

SAGE 
No, no one. 
I'm hooking up an everyday memo to myself. 
We're gonna soon watch two movies. 
To emphasize what I'm trying to say. 
The movies Bonnie and Clyde and The Great Train Robbery. 
Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were sloppy criminals and, 
well, … people like that have no qualities I'd want to emulate. But those guys who planned and executed the train robbery? Miley, whether it's organizing a team to put a man on the moon or to pull off a heist …? You know, those guys put forth the mental effort to plan it to make sure no one would get hurt. They were all wealthy, old senior citizen dudes. None of them needed the money. 
They did it simply for the thrill. 
Out of sheer boredom or something like that 
they team up to rob a train's cargo of gold bars. 
Doing it for some thrill …

MAIDEN AMERICA 
Yeah, so what's a perfect or not crime stuff 
got to do with what we're gonna do by gettin' Murgatroyd?

SAGE 
To do with Murgatroyd and our bringing your fans to the quest? Probably nothing to do with this frame of mind. 
But we'll have a more difficult time were the Beast to know 
what our intentions are 
(a beat)
The Catholics and Protestants are tame but they're doing something wrong.The Jews did something wrong. The treatise should have been written by one of theirs. But the Creator said, no. Someone like me made the discovery.
The arrogant goofball atheist and agnostic 
can be reasoned with, but not with the Islamists. 
Their jugular to the Creator …, their belief that the Creator inspired those words and thoughts in that book as Its own, would be best to sever this link. Sever this jugular.

MAIDEN AMERICA 
Whoa, slow down. Back up. You're losing me. 

SAGE 
Miley, listen. The treatise is going to usher in 
a new definition of the Creator to future peoples. 
The Qur'an neither defines the will, the intentions 
nor the demeanor of the Creator to us, Its human creation. 
All the dogma built up through centuries of thought 
by the sages of the Qur'an are whacked, 
and Islamists by themselves are incapable of change 
to accommodate the reality of what the treatise will reveal. 
(a beat)
Instead of trying to create a perspective for you of 
good and bad intentions and the consequent results 
of these good and bad intentions with examples of the criminal mind, perhaps I should use corporations as examples. With examples of the good and the bad corporate leaders of past perhaps you would realize that how we are to go about accomplishing what we want to do involves our best. Our best virtues put into whatever plans we devise in the future. 

MAIDEN AMERICA 
Oh, I get it. We aren't sloppy, two-bit Christians. 

SAGE 
Yeah, certainly not. 
But most importantly we can't allow 
others to realize …? 
You know, we have to do 
whatever we do in the future 
in a way that is perfect. 
The Beast never knew what we are about 
is causing a lethal act 
to be committed against it. 
It one day laid down and died never knowing 
it was our actions causing the wounds to it ,
and that made it tired and to then slumber and …

MAIDEN AMERICA 
(a beat)
… and never to awaken. 

SAGE 
Yes, never to awaken.

MAIDEN AMERICA wants to change these deep thoughts of SAGE. MAIDEN AMERICA steers Mercedes Benz SUV off the main highway and onto service road. MAIDEN AMERICA finds and parks in parking lot of supermarket. 

SAGE 
A quart of kefir, or yogurt would do the trick. 

MAIDEN AMERICA 
I hope they have a sushi bar.

MAIDEN AMERICA and SAGE walk through parking lot. MAIDEN AMERICA bubbles up a low bass-tone chuckle. 

MAIDEN AMERICA 
I was just thinking. 
For us to collaborate with Disney, 
or any large, public enterprise 
we’d possibly be setting them up as a target of the Beast. 
They can’t be identified with us and what we're about, then.

SAGE
Forget Disney, correct. 
Totally forget collaborating with any of those types. 
The three of us together. 
I want to be THE Christian to you. The Christian.

MAIDEN AMERICA takes hold of arm of SAGE. 

SAGE
Somehow that one-fifth of your Hannah money will be put back. I don’t want things from you. 
All I want…? All I want is your Hannah Montana fans. 
I want their respect while they watch me lead you 
on the many paths towards Murgatroyd. 
We in the West have a head start already 
because of the way we’re set up, 
and I want to focus your fans 
on the many subjects, topics, and ideas that will 
bring their thoughts for how to proceed 
to understand and then to construct 
an actual system mimicking biological cognition.

MAIDEN AMERICA 
(another low bass-tone chuckle) 
You make me laugh.

SAGE 
(chuckle) 
You make ME laugh.

MAIDEN AMERICA 
You make ME laugh.

SAGE 
No, YOU make me laugh.

MAIDEN AMERICA 
No, YOU make me laugh.

SAGE 
NO! YOU! make me laugh.

MAIDEN AMERICA 
No, no, no. YOU make me laugh.

SAGE 
Sorry, you don’t understand.
YOU make ME laugh.

MAIDEN AMERICA 
Sorry, YOU! don’t understand
ME! YOU make ME laugh.

SAGE 
Am I stuttering? Talking funny?
Listen, Cupcake. You make
me laugh. That’s it. 
Simple to understand, no? 

MAIDEN AMERICA 
Am I stuttering? Am I talking funny? 
Listen, Sir, you make me laugh. That’s it. 
Simple to understand, no? End of discussion. 
YOU make me laugh.

SAGE 
Aw, shucks, you’re just goofing around. 
Pulling my leg or something.

MAIDEN AMERICA 
Aw, shucks, you’re just goofing around. 
Pulling my leg or something. Aren’t ‘ya?

SAGE 
You know, you’re so funny
I forgot to laugh?

MAIDEN AMERICA 
You know, YOU’RE! so funny
I forgot to laugh?


††

© 2014, 2017  Kurt L Hanson

No comments:

Post a Comment