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Good God, Put The Beast To Sleep In The Minds Of Men Already

Creator Detected Science Finest Hour

THE SAGE AND THE MAIDEN RIDE HOGS

EXT. INTERSTATE 84, EASTBOUND - DAY 

MAIDEN and SAGE driving Harley-Davidson motorcycles towards a secret rendezvous to watch this robot. Motorcycle helmets equipped with audio devices enabling/relaying conversation.

MAIDEN 
The meatloaf and mashed potatoes
at that truck stop really filled me up.  

SAGE 
You alright?
Wanna pull over next rest area? 

MAIDEN 
(low bass-tone chuckle) 
No. I'm alright.
Just feels like my stomach is a balloon.  

SAGE 
(a beat) 
Not that I believe everything I hear, mind you,
though there are rumors to the effect that
touring on motorcycles for long periods of time
puts fat on, too.
I’d take it with a grain of salt.  

Sunbeams break through cumulous clouds and brighten roadway. SAGE raises helmet visor. MAIDEN looks towards SAGE who puckers lips of a kiss.  

MAIDEN 
While we're on the subject
of bloated bellies, motorcycles, and fat,
(a beat)
been three months now since my last period.  

SAGE 
Strenuous exercise and stuff like that 
can curtail the monthly cycle.
You know? 

MAIDEN 
(low bass-tone chuckle) 
Curtail.
(a beat)
You're funny. 

CUT TO:

INT. RURAL DINER – TABLE CLOTHED BOOTH 

After meal MAIDEN and SAGE look at map on iPhone screen portraying graphic route of scenic coastal Connecticut highway. 

SAGE 
We could easily spend a month of time 
touring along, and off and on
this one highway towards Boston.  

MAIDEN 
Lots of flags for …
(a beat)
I imagine they're quaint colonial towns
with shops, museums. 

SAGE 
We'll keep an eye out
for the Native American tourists spots, too. 

SAGE reaches hand to face of MAIDEN and fingers brush up and down cheek. 

SAGE 
(continues, with melodic voice) 
I'm just mad about Saffron.
Saffrons’ mad about me.

CUT TO: 

EXT. RURAL HIGHWAY 

SAGE 
Miley, the ground we'll be plowing up 
to ready for planting treatorial seeds is …?
shall I say, treacherous soil. 
We'll often be stepping on others toes,
… to put it mildly. 

MAIDEN accelerates motorcycle and maintains a distance in front of SAGE. 

MAIDEN 
Who we gonna start bullying first? 

SAGE 
(a beat) 
The English pilgrims who first settled 
in North America came here to live away
from the mindset of the English populace.
The English populace who pay social tithes to the king,
and bidding to the call of the authorities from the Church of England.
(a beat)
A bit of quick historics:
The Church of England was established
by one of the many English kings
who wanted a divorce from the queen he was married to.
During these times it was the Church in Rome,
what is today the Catholic Church
that was recognized by most as the seat of authority
for all Christian matters of concern,
and the Pope said no to this king dudes request
for an official divorce.
So this king took matters into his own hands
and simply outlawed the authority of Rome inside his kingdom. 
He then created his own church.
Those persons who became the bishops
of this new church have little choice
but to grant this king his request
for a divorce from the queen.  

MAIDEN 
Wow. That queen must've been peeved, 
to say the least, huh?
No more banquets for her. 

SAGE 
If I recollect correctly
the reason why this king wanted a divorce
was because the queen couldn't give him a son.
All kings want to have a male heir to the throne after they die.
And so because she can't bare children,
he wants to divorce her and then remarry 
to another who will give him a son.
But because this queen he's divorcing now
would legitimately be next in line as heir to the throne, 
and not a future son born from whomever he marries next,
he had this queen he divorced killed. 

MAIDEN 
He killed her? 

SAGE 
Not he himself.
He had someone else cut off her head.
(chuckle; a beat) 
That's the times.
The way things were back then.  

MAIDEN 
And so basically that's how the English people
got a church established in their name? 

SAGE 
Basically. Yes, ma'am.
And to be a good person,
that is, to be a good and loyal, upstanding
member of the English community
you would always act and speak favorably
about this king's church.
The pilgrims were considered
a radical Christian denomination
by the majority of English folk,
and harassment of them was tolerated by the
what we call police today.
They the Puritans took the abuse for a time 
and eventually made plans to leave.  

MAIDEN 
You thinkin' a thunkin' the Creator 
didn't want this king to have children?
Maybe? 

SAGE accelerates to position motorcycle alongside MAIDEN.  

SAGE 
Oh, Miley, wow.
Do you already see what I'm leading up to?
Pull it out. 
Just speak your thoughts out loud to me now.  

MAIDEN 
Uhm? No. I don't have an idea why.
I'm just asking to hear what you think? 

SAGE 
A couple hundred years and Republic forms of government
will soon begin to flourish over the European nations. 
How would people of today regard the royal family of Great Britain
were this king to have perhaps listened to the thoughts from his heart
and by doing so he set in motion the events which
in reality it was the United States which set the example causing
all the other European nations to eventually follow suit? 

SCENES OF MOTORCYCLES TRAVELING ALONG RURAL HIGHWAY.  

MAIDEN 
That is an interesting set of thoughts about the Creator.  

CUT TO:

EXT. REST AREA OFF HIGHWAY NEAR OCEAN SHORELINE - DAY 

SAGE 
The Puritans were the first Christians to encounter
the Native North Americans.
And for the next two hundred and fifty years
these indigenous people will be …?
(a beat) 
Miley, think of the power of knowledge.
There was this dude in the late 1800's named James Maxwell
who studied the phenomena of electricity. 
He wrote mathematical equations describing the relationship between 
electricity and magnetism.
Because of Maxwell and his equations
a hundred years later the West
has invented a proliferation of different
electronic machines and devices.
Some extol Maxwell the person
for this tremendous contribution towards
advancing the quality of life in the West.
But I would also have to give a lot of credit to
the environment that allowed a young boy
to form the frame of mind 
and then to cultivate the type of attitudes
which furthered and eventually allowed
those mathematical thoughts of an adult Maxwell
to be discovered and occur. 
The Wright brothers of airplane and Kitty Hawk fame
also come to mind now. 
The environment that the Wright brothers
were raised inside of played just as important a role
to the discovery of the methods and systems of flight
as did their personal ambition and perseverance.  

MAIDEN 
Yeah, that makes sense.
I can see that. 

SAGE 
And so were I to proffer a strategy 
which if it were to have been employed 
by the Puritans and the others who followed
and settled amongst the North American Indians,
this strategy would entail impressing upon the leaders
of the Indian nations that the institutions of the West
and its order of civil life
is more advantageous to the majority of folks
than the customs of their Indian nation.
(a beat) 
Quickly put into words now,
but do you understand what I'm saying? 

MAIDEN 
Similar to the predicament of the emperor
and the others in the movie, The Last Samurai.
I understand what you're getting at but 
what great things of Europe or England 
at that time would the Puritans have considered so great?
Great enough to talk about and then
try to impress the Indian leaders with? 

SAGE 
What great things of England
during the early seventeenth century?
You got me on that at the moment.
But I'm sure like you you want to believe that 
through persuasive dialog the reality 
of those two-hundred fifty years of North American hostilities
could possibly have been altered.
Imagine like the Mormons basically run the State of Utah,
and the people living there are basically cool to everyone else.
Well, let's imagine all those missionaries
who went to the leaders of the
Apache, Cherokee, Iroquois, and other nations
and instead of talking some cockamamie-sounding nonsense 
about Jesus that concludes with talk of
the blood of Christ and justification by faith mental loop-de-dos
for the Indian leaders to ponder over with, … well,
they instead talked a different kind of talk that really made sense
and the reality is today that most all the Indian nations have evolved
into States of their own, and they evolved so much so that they rival
New York and California as far as GDP is concerned.  

MAIDEN 
What's a GDP? 

SAGE 
It's a monetary amount of total goods and services
that a nation or State has sold during a period of time. 
The larger the number means more goods were sold,
which is better.
(a beat) 
And so like the Mormons basically ghettoize the State of Utah today, 
imagine because people talked the talk hundreds of years ago
there are also today several States of the Union populated with
a majority of affluent and patriotic citizens of Native American descent.
I'm following this train of thought to pose the question
as to whether circumstances were such that …,
was it possible or impossible for there to have been peace and prosperity,
or were hostilities between the settlers and the Indians
for two-hundred fifty long years
the only course of events that could have occurred? 

Scenes of the highway during an autumn day. 

MAIDEN 
Hey dude, let's put a pin in it. 
Boop!
Come back to these thoughts later. 

SAGE 
That's a big ten-four.
(a beat)
… just love your puddin', … Puddin'. 



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